My Beginning (Where it all began for me)

MAY 1998: My Grandfather (my favourite relative) had died 5 months earlier, I was also a regular cannibis smoker. My sanity had been slowly degrading and I had developed servere anxiety, as though I knew that something terrible was about to happen to me. I was living with the cannibis drug dealer (a very bad tempered man) and we had many other lads visiting the house all day, every day. I was 22 years old and every night would be spent smoking cannibis with a room full of lads round about the same age. I was still a virgin, and at this age in the UK there is a lot of peer pressure towards sex, and for a man of my age I was made to feel ashamed of something that should have really been honourable. I had a real problem with this, and NEVER told anyone I was still a virgin, I used to hide this and just pretend to be one of the lads. This was my major weakness, and it was in my opinion knowingly exploited and was the tactic used in an attempt to destroy me. Let me give you a little more of my history to show you what I mean. In 1996 I was on an apprenticeship to become an engineer for a chemical producing company. I had the unfortunate luck to be placed with a group of lads similar to the 1998 group that almost destroyed me. I took an instant disliking to oneof them and started calling him a fruit, it was my own fault, I brought this one on myself, cos one day when the room was FULL, I'm not just talking about my group, there were members of other groups there too, he started winding me up. I called him a fruit again, and for the 2 seconds before it happened I knew what was coming. He shouted, at least i'm not 20 years old and still a virgin. Everyone there went into uproar laughing, and I was left humiliated and spiritually crippled from there on. Previously in a dream (I have just decided to include dreams on my blog also, as they are something i've had timeto study and know a fair bit about), anyway, as I was saying. In a previous dream, I had been running from a group of lads through an industrial area, when one caught me up and smashed a brick over my head, in the next part of the dream I was in a wheelchair. This was a premonition of the events leading upto and the actual crushing blow that left me spiritually damaged. Incedentally, I have found running in a dream means you are fleeing from the truth. Well, back to 1998, I don't remember what day exactly it was but it was in the month of May, A girl (A very bad girl) had been pretending to be interested in me, she even somehow knew about a dream I had involving blue flowers (I'll do a seperate post for Brenda and the Flowers dream) Anyway, I had become very paranoid and was starting not to trust anyone, I had already rejected the girl (who was now sleeping with the drug dealer) and was alone in the house. One of the lads who was named Justin came round to the house, and out of nowhere was very intellegently trying to make me think I was going insane, as though he was trying to induce something to happen. MY intutition that was still in tact quickly made me realise what he was doing, and when this happened, Justin broke down into tears, not sad tears, I'd imagine they were like the tears of the German boxer during world war two, who started crying when a black American was beating him. THOSE TYPE OF TEARS. I hope you understand what I mean. Anyway, I got all high and mighty and said "why are you crying Justin" and he said "because you don't think i'm your friend" which was a very unconvincing lie. This justin guy is the type that liked seeing people suffer, he was a very big fan of blood and gore in the movies, that type of lad. IN DECEMBER 2005 JUSTIN MET HIS END IN A GORY CAR CRASH, IN WHICH ONLY HE DIED. Don't get me wrong, I'm not glad he's dead, although I know he deserved to die. However, on the night I heard about it, I prayed for his soul, because if anyone is going to hell I knew he was one of them, and that scared me. Anyway, another day I had decided to come out about being a virgin, at this point still I hadn't told anyone. We had just finished a game of football, and I asked 2 lads named ALEX and JOHN to meet up with me that evening. (They were the lads i was going to come out to). After deciding this, WAYNE, the drug dealer shouted "Shit, we nearly had a wheelchair weekend" Now, I ask you to refer back to the premonition dream I had to the event that took place in 1996. A wheelchair weekend, what other possible meaning could there have been for what he said? I feel the truth of the matter, is some people in the world have a gift to knw things about the other type of people in this world. I feel they KNEW i was a virgin, they KNEW I had interpretated the dream of the events of 1996 and they KNEW I was about to come out about being a virgin. Now I don't know who or what these people are, but they are not regular people like me and hopefully you who is reading this. I've been through many theories, Aliens, Demons, Children of the devil. I still don't know, but all 3 of the prior have been mentioned in the bible for being on earth, yes even aliens (Known as the sons of elohim) Appparently we were visited by a race many thousands of years ago that was compatible with earthling women, who mated with earthling women and who created a hybrid human race. It's all in the bible, Old Testament. Not sure what book and verses, but if this interests you and you want to read it, please email me and i'll look it up for you. Anyway, back to the story, The JUSTIN incident was the more recent of the 2 days I just mentioned. Later that day, 10 of the lads had come round to the house to smoke cannibis, I was on edge like never before and as high (not cannibis high) as almost god himself. I was borderline psychotic, but something happened before the psychosis took hold of me a day later, something very interesting but also very hard to explain, watch out for a later post name 'The Game' I will go into more detail about it there at a later date. I have written enough for one day, I hope you have found this interesting so far, there's a whole lot more to come.

SAY NO TO DRUGS

TRUST NOBODY EXCEPT GOD

AND.........

HAVE A NICE DAY!